Coward’s Way Out

Suicide, the great escape, has been called the Coward’s Way Out by many zealous individuals who most likely have no idea what it takes to actually override your largest human instinct, that of self-preservation. The physical act of suicide is anything but cowardly, and its difficulty and the courage it requires are a couple of…


Cremation Explained

Similar to my previous post, Autopsy Explained, here are several things you need to know about cremation and arranging a cremation for someone. As a professional, I have learned it is impossible to dumb things down too much. Certain things which seem obvious to me – such as “cremation is irreversible” and “cremated remains are…


Dead Inside

I meant to write this a while ago, when we got a case of a toddler beaten to death by mom’s boyfriend. Then I was momentarily distracted by some other, more mundane homicides, and then yesterday there was another toddler beaten to death by mom’s boyfriend AND mom. I am the only one at work…


Autopsy Explained

No, I don’t mean the entire procedure. I mean what you can expect when you make a funeral arrangement for someone who has been autopsied. Different counties and states have different methods of performing an autopsy. Most people know the trunk of the body is split open with the classic Y incision, but most autopsies…


The Bloody Band-Aid

I save everything. In my closets, boxes and files you can find baby clothes my grandmother wore, letters I got from my dad when I was in preschool, and string I got for Christmas twenty years ago as a joke gift. Most people don’t. It’s rare to find someone that has even one photo album,…


It’s the “Live Without The One You Loved The Most” challenge!

I don’t know what the first “challenge” was, but I imagine it had something to do with conquering a physical feat. Weight loss, or a strength goal; perhaps finding the courage to enter a race or other athletic event. Then they started getting dumb. I remember a “challenge” involving swallowing a large spoonful of cinnamon;…


The Body We Didn’t Want Them To Find

I’ve been reading many news stories lately about funeral homes in trouble with the law for mishandling human remains – hiding them on the property rather than keeping them in refrigeration, usually because the families cannot afford to pay for the cremation or other arrangements. In my opinion, disrespect of a human body and refusal…


Bless Them on Memorial Day

Memorial Day, like St. Patrick’s Day, is a time for annoying douchebags to loudly proclaim their patriotism and pride in their roots, in between drinking and playing video games. But really, we should be remembering those who sacrificed for this country. I’ll ask for blessings for a few. God bless the Marine who finally made…


Death: The Great Equalizer

The internet, the greatest invention in the world, has probably ruined everyone’s life at least once. I’ve been fired, ridiculed, rejected and otherwise scorned because of things I have said on the internet or things other people have said about me. It happens. The good news is, because it happens to everyone at one point,…


When They Don’t Pay…Or The Check Bounces

I picked up my very first suicide a few months after I started in this business. I didn’t know he was a suicide until I unwrapped him and saw the electrical cord still around his neck. It made me cry. I was actually a sensitive person, long ago. It was just he and his mother,…