Author: <span class="vcard">corilou</span>

Death – It’s Happening!

I love going on removals. I love being the family’s first contact with the funeral home, the chance to make a good first impression, and since I’m also an embalmer, I know the importance of not wrapping the face too tightly in plastic or carelessly storing the body in the cooler without regard to positioning….


How to Dress a Deceased Person

When I did my internship and actually touched a dead body for the first time, I understood why people said it was harder than dressing a squirming baby. My boss told me if I was ever having trouble getting the clothing on, I could cut it. I could split suit jackets up the back, cut…


My Christmas List

Now for something a little more lighthearted. I would appreciate any of the following. – Embalming instruments – New embalming machine – Backboard for calls – Airbrush cosmetic kit – Mortuary cosmetics – Antique embalming, surgical and autopsy textbooks – Disaster pouch – Non disposable, custom fit PPE – Case of Introfiant – Case of…


Two Overdoses

I’ve always said I wanted to die while working on a body. Ideally, it would be after I had celebrated my 80-something birthday with my friends, if I make any by then, eating nachos and laughing. Then the next day, while at work in some depressing, poorly ventilated garage, perhaps after having prepared a very…


Reader Question

Hello all, I’ve decided to answer another reader question. Yes, I am a freelance/on-call/trade embalmer, and I also do removals and run errands and meet with families and work services. I can accept or decline assignments at will. I can be on call for weeks at a time or not at all. I work for…


Erlkonig

The legend of the Erlkonig, or Earlking, is that a father and son are taking a frightening journey through a dark forest, in which the Earlking lives, visible only to the children whom he abducts and kills. Throughout the short opera, the Earlking lures and intoxicates the child, who tells his father repeatedly that the…


Five Pounds From Death

Every time I come close to another bodybuilding show, I am reminded just how close my love/hate relationship with this quasi non-sport/beauty pageant is to becoming hate/hate. A couple of female bodybuilders have died recently; one while at a show and the other of unknown causes, but she was almost 70 years old as well….


A Grave I Must Visit

TL;DR version: I dated a convicted murderer who showed no remorse. I wrote this piece in 2009. ***** My interest in the funeral service profession is largely technical, rather than historical. When delving into the funerals of famous people or people who died in strange ways, I am far more interested in how they were…


From the Cradle to the Grave

Or, in my case, from the removal/place of death to the grave. This is how I prefer to take care of my families. Rather than having someone to get the body, someone to meet with the family, someone to greet and seat them (before pitching pre-paid funeral plans), someone to embalm the body, someone to…


Myths Dispelled

There are several myths and urban legends passed around about the dead and what people have seen dead bodies do. These stories are all lies. Every single one of them. Even if your uncle was a mortician and he says his friend saw it happen all the time, your uncle is a liar. I will…